There was an interesting story that made its way through the news this week. According to a recent census, 51% of women are now living without a spouse. In other words, women are more likely than not to be living by themselves or living with someone outside of marriage.

You can read about it here

What does this mean? I'm sure the sociologists, liberals, sociologists, and religious leaders will all weigh in from different perspectives regarding the liberation of women from marriage and the high divorce rates, and living in sin, and on and on.

I've been married for almost 13 years, which isn't a really long time but is long enough to give me a little insight. The large number of divorces over the past 30 years has made marriage seem untouchable by people of my generation (30s) and younger. I am fortunate enough to have two parents who have been married for 40 years. Many people, however, have parents who divorced for a number of reasons - some understandable (abuse, violence) and others not so understandable (falling "out of love"). The kids who witnessed their parents divorce eventually grew up and started looking for love. To avoid repeating their parents failure in marriage, they wanted to make sure that the potential spouse was "perfect" in every way. We end up with the Seinfeld Syndrome. There is always one little quirk that you cannot overcome. They have "man-hands" or watch the wrong TV shows, or talk in a high (or low) voice, or any number of things that make that person unaccepable. These people are discarded due to their imperfections and Cupid has missed his mark. Hence, more people miss out on marriage or choose to bide their time in an unmarried, and thus non-binding, relationship that can be dissolved at will.

So what is lost? I believe that people who don't overlook these minor things don't appreciate the necessity of compromise. I'm certain to do things that my wife doesn't appreciate, but she'll overlook them because we love each other. The same goes for me. A common phrase these days is that, "My spouse should love me for WHO I AM." Are you suggesting that you are perfect, or that you are totally unwilling to change even the slightest aspect of your life if it means the relationship will be better.

The interesting thing about marriage is that the end result is greater than the sum of the individuals. No matter how perfect I think I am, marriage should make me a better person because I learn the gift of compromise, giving, sharing, and patience. While I don't advocate marrying at very early ages, I do think that waiting for years to marry only solidifies your own routines, ideas, and notions about how the world should treat YOU. It's easier to start a life together if you can create it from scratch. Blending two very established and rigid lifestyles together later in life may be more difficult.

I'm rambling now, but I hope you get my drift. Marriage is serious business but it also needs to be taken with a leap of faith. Things will not always be perfect and nobody should ever expect them to be that way.