Where am I going??

For some time now, I've felt uncertain about my direction and what role God wants me to take and where He wants me to take it. I've been very worried about my career (that's another post) and how I can balance family and work when so many things seem to be going wrong with both. I haven't let God take control and really still don't think about it in those terms.

About a month ago, I did give up some element of control. I didn't make a conscious decision to "let God handle it" but I did say that I wasn't going to lose as much sleep over my career and the day-to-day failures that seem to pile up. I wanted to find ways to reconnect with my wife and in my church. Despite my misgivings about living in College Station, I felt resigned that I'll be here if necessary and God will open a door if the time ever becomes right to leave. Not surprisingly, things did get better at home and I was asked to help lead a small group with high school students. This is something I've done in the past but not anything I would have considered right now. Perhaps this is what God wants me to do right now.

Where am I going? That is a question I keep trying to ask myself and perhaps it's one that I should stop asking for a while. I've been running as hard as I can for years trying to reach a goal that may be unattainable. That's hard to accept but perhaps I'm headed to a new location and I need to be like Abraham and just follow based on faith. With him, it was physically moving to an unknown country. Maybe I need to make an emotional and mental move to an unknown location. It's not easy...

It's been a while since I posted, but then I'm likely the only one to notice. As the title of this blog is Thoughts from my journey, perhaps I should post some recent thoughts.

First: The current political landscape is exciting, yet highly polarized. Yes, I know this isn't novel and I'm not the first person to notice. However, it's discouraging to see people make major decisions about their leaders based on litmus tests like abortion, taxes, or whether they simply have a (D) or (R) in front of their name. This remains a very interesting election because the candidates are not typical and neither is a true incumbant. This election should also be a real statement about whether our country is ready to elect a black man as President.

Second: Life is probably too short to waste living somewhere or doing some thing that does not give fulfillment. Whether that involves too much work, not enough work, better climate, better house, more time to do charitable things, or a different place to do charitable things will depend on the person. Fulfillment may not equal being fat and happy, but it does mean feeling like your efforts are good and desired.

Third: I may need a new job at some point. Anyone have suggestions?

Church as a Sanctuary

I've been watching the first season of "Six Feet Under" on DVD and I highly recommend it to all of you. Very funny and interesting show about a dysfunctional, yet wholly normal, family who runs a funeral home in Los Angeles.

Anyway, one of the characters (David) was chosen to be a deacon in his local church. The specific denomination isn't mentioned, but it appears to be Episcopalian or something very similar. At one point in the show, David tells his bishop that a "progressive" job candidate for an assistant bishop position probably wouldn't do very well in that church because he might rock the boat. The bishop says that maybe the church needs to be shaken up a little bit. David responds that the congregation goes to church because they like stability. His final statement is something to the effect of "...isn't that why they call church a sanctuary?"

That got me thinking a little bit. Churches are supposed to be safe places from the world where we can go commune with each other and find peace with God. More broadly, David's point in the show was that the "conservative" or "traditional" people in his church didn't want a lot of change because it was the one place they still felt safe. Their lives were going by so rapidly, their children growing up too fast, technology was passing them by, and so many things appeared to be slipping out of their grasp. Why not look to the church as the one remaining sanctuary where things could still be constant? God as all loving, Jesus as a savior, and peace from the chaos of their daily lives.

Is this something that echos among churches that we know? I'll throw out an idea. Perhaps our churches have become more polarized among the progressives and the conservatives because of things going on OUTSIDE the church. When life is terribly busy and overscheduled, why not look forward to something stable, like the church? This is where the more traditional people might feel comfortable and seek sanctuary. On the other side, we have people who are very busy and overscheduled, but from their perspective there is no excitement. Their lives are neverending chores of driving kids around, filing paperwork, shopping for groceries, and running errands. They don't have time to relax or find excitment in music and movies. They need some kind of mental and spiritual "pick-me-up" and they can look for that in church. They don't want the guilt or don't like the idea of going out to a bar until 2:00 am looking for excitment. Church can offer a good release and way to be excited for something. That is how they view sanctuary. Both sides are leaning on the church to fill their inner needs. Both groups are seeking and wanting to know God and trying to escape the pressure of their lives through fellowship with Christ. In that respect, both are correct.

People seek God in their own way. In these very generalized statements, I don't see a problem with either side. May we seek God through truth. God is there to give us comfort and provide us a sanctuary. Let's just strive to make sure our sanctuary is big enough for everyone. God certainly does.

There was an interesting story that made its way through the news this week. According to a recent census, 51% of women are now living without a spouse. In other words, women are more likely than not to be living by themselves or living with someone outside of marriage.

You can read about it here

What does this mean? I'm sure the sociologists, liberals, sociologists, and religious leaders will all weigh in from different perspectives regarding the liberation of women from marriage and the high divorce rates, and living in sin, and on and on.

I've been married for almost 13 years, which isn't a really long time but is long enough to give me a little insight. The large number of divorces over the past 30 years has made marriage seem untouchable by people of my generation (30s) and younger. I am fortunate enough to have two parents who have been married for 40 years. Many people, however, have parents who divorced for a number of reasons - some understandable (abuse, violence) and others not so understandable (falling "out of love"). The kids who witnessed their parents divorce eventually grew up and started looking for love. To avoid repeating their parents failure in marriage, they wanted to make sure that the potential spouse was "perfect" in every way. We end up with the Seinfeld Syndrome. There is always one little quirk that you cannot overcome. They have "man-hands" or watch the wrong TV shows, or talk in a high (or low) voice, or any number of things that make that person unaccepable. These people are discarded due to their imperfections and Cupid has missed his mark. Hence, more people miss out on marriage or choose to bide their time in an unmarried, and thus non-binding, relationship that can be dissolved at will.

So what is lost? I believe that people who don't overlook these minor things don't appreciate the necessity of compromise. I'm certain to do things that my wife doesn't appreciate, but she'll overlook them because we love each other. The same goes for me. A common phrase these days is that, "My spouse should love me for WHO I AM." Are you suggesting that you are perfect, or that you are totally unwilling to change even the slightest aspect of your life if it means the relationship will be better.

The interesting thing about marriage is that the end result is greater than the sum of the individuals. No matter how perfect I think I am, marriage should make me a better person because I learn the gift of compromise, giving, sharing, and patience. While I don't advocate marrying at very early ages, I do think that waiting for years to marry only solidifies your own routines, ideas, and notions about how the world should treat YOU. It's easier to start a life together if you can create it from scratch. Blending two very established and rigid lifestyles together later in life may be more difficult.

I'm rambling now, but I hope you get my drift. Marriage is serious business but it also needs to be taken with a leap of faith. Things will not always be perfect and nobody should ever expect them to be that way.

Welcome

Well, here it is. My feeble attempt at voicing my opinion among the legions of other people who also feel our thoughts are worth sharing. We'll see how it goes.

What is this about, you might ask? This represents my thoughts and ideas on Christianity and my own struggles with many types of issues that come up. I'm a scientist and reconciling my faith and my career/passion can create dissonance at times. You may see me discuss mundane things like the weather or football, but I'm hoping this will be more thought provoking. It's also an opportunity for me to think through things and hopefully gain feedback from others who agree or disagree. I'm open to suggestions!!

Thanks for visiting and maybe we'll enjoy a long conversation...