Where am I going??

For some time now, I've felt uncertain about my direction and what role God wants me to take and where He wants me to take it. I've been very worried about my career (that's another post) and how I can balance family and work when so many things seem to be going wrong with both. I haven't let God take control and really still don't think about it in those terms.

About a month ago, I did give up some element of control. I didn't make a conscious decision to "let God handle it" but I did say that I wasn't going to lose as much sleep over my career and the day-to-day failures that seem to pile up. I wanted to find ways to reconnect with my wife and in my church. Despite my misgivings about living in College Station, I felt resigned that I'll be here if necessary and God will open a door if the time ever becomes right to leave. Not surprisingly, things did get better at home and I was asked to help lead a small group with high school students. This is something I've done in the past but not anything I would have considered right now. Perhaps this is what God wants me to do right now.

Where am I going? That is a question I keep trying to ask myself and perhaps it's one that I should stop asking for a while. I've been running as hard as I can for years trying to reach a goal that may be unattainable. That's hard to accept but perhaps I'm headed to a new location and I need to be like Abraham and just follow based on faith. With him, it was physically moving to an unknown country. Maybe I need to make an emotional and mental move to an unknown location. It's not easy...

It's been a while since I posted, but then I'm likely the only one to notice. As the title of this blog is Thoughts from my journey, perhaps I should post some recent thoughts.

First: The current political landscape is exciting, yet highly polarized. Yes, I know this isn't novel and I'm not the first person to notice. However, it's discouraging to see people make major decisions about their leaders based on litmus tests like abortion, taxes, or whether they simply have a (D) or (R) in front of their name. This remains a very interesting election because the candidates are not typical and neither is a true incumbant. This election should also be a real statement about whether our country is ready to elect a black man as President.

Second: Life is probably too short to waste living somewhere or doing some thing that does not give fulfillment. Whether that involves too much work, not enough work, better climate, better house, more time to do charitable things, or a different place to do charitable things will depend on the person. Fulfillment may not equal being fat and happy, but it does mean feeling like your efforts are good and desired.

Third: I may need a new job at some point. Anyone have suggestions?