Where am I going??

For some time now, I've felt uncertain about my direction and what role God wants me to take and where He wants me to take it. I've been very worried about my career (that's another post) and how I can balance family and work when so many things seem to be going wrong with both. I haven't let God take control and really still don't think about it in those terms.

About a month ago, I did give up some element of control. I didn't make a conscious decision to "let God handle it" but I did say that I wasn't going to lose as much sleep over my career and the day-to-day failures that seem to pile up. I wanted to find ways to reconnect with my wife and in my church. Despite my misgivings about living in College Station, I felt resigned that I'll be here if necessary and God will open a door if the time ever becomes right to leave. Not surprisingly, things did get better at home and I was asked to help lead a small group with high school students. This is something I've done in the past but not anything I would have considered right now. Perhaps this is what God wants me to do right now.

Where am I going? That is a question I keep trying to ask myself and perhaps it's one that I should stop asking for a while. I've been running as hard as I can for years trying to reach a goal that may be unattainable. That's hard to accept but perhaps I'm headed to a new location and I need to be like Abraham and just follow based on faith. With him, it was physically moving to an unknown country. Maybe I need to make an emotional and mental move to an unknown location. It's not easy...